


The Wrong Move

by dovingbird



Series: Expand My Heart [4]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, FaceFucking, First Time Domming, M/M, Polyamory, Rough Sex, Spanking, Subdrop, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 08:28:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12553364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: A filled commission. With Arin and Suzy out of town for their anniversary trip to Japan, Danny and Brian have their first two weeks alone together since they became a triad. Miscommunication about what normally dominate Brian expects in a relationship leads Dan to take control that maybe he wasn't ready for after all.





	The Wrong Move

Dropping Arin and Suzy off at the airport for their anniversary trip to Japan had been fine – _fun,_ even. The car had been filled with their favorite music, Brian calmly dismantled every joking argument Arin made about his driving, Suzy popped her chin over Dann’s shoulder every once and a while to ask him what his plans for the day were going to be, and they both reminded them over and over again about the international phone cards that they’d stashed in the glove compartment – just in case. It felt like they were a family, weird as it was, like it was common for a man to consensually have one wife and two boyfriends.  
  
Once they’d actually gotten out of the car, however, and Arin had run from the driver’s side to the passenger’s side to give both Brian and Danny a kiss before scampering after Suzy, the mood shifted.  
  
Brian looked at him. Danny looked back. Bubbles of adrenaline raced through his veins, leaving trails of acid behind that burned him up from the inside out. Brian reached over and squeezed his hand, then smiled and grabbed the steering wheel again. “You hungry?”  
  
It was a peace offering and Danny knew it. Brian had spent years purposely embarrassing and humiliating Danny for humor. They were both trapped in a car, and it would be so easy for Brian to start saying things like _”So, are we going to be celibate until our bottom gets back?”_ or _”I’m kidnapping you and taking you to my apartment and you’re not leaving until I get to lick your butthole.”_ But he didn’t. He offered something sweet – dinner.  
  
It took Danny a few seconds too long to realize that it was what a boyfriend would do. To remember that _they_ were boyfriends, not just Arin’s mutual partners. Because over the past month of them finally colliding and sinking against each other and learning their bodies in entirely new ways, Arin had been the safety net. The handful of times that they’d all fucked, Danny would be on one side of Arin and Brian on the other, and he’d only meet Brian’s lips when they kissed feverishly over Arin’s shoulder.  
  
He would walk through the office and cross paths with Brian – one of them heading to the kitchen, the other to one of their rooms – and their gazes would lock for one breathtaking moment. He’d see in his eyes every little thing that Brian wanted to do to him, all encapsulated in a mere second of fire. And then Danny would break the eye contact with a giggle, brush his fingers over Brian’s shoulder as he passed him, and not think about it again.  
  
Brian was waiting him out. He wanted Danny to make the first move. And, not for the first time, he tasted nothing but nervousness on the back of his tongue.  
  
It was one thing to make a move on Arin – irrepressible Arin, bratty but submissive to Brian, eager to roll over and spread his legs and beg Danny in the filthiest language around for him to fuck the shit out of him. It was another thing entirely to look at his dominant long time best friend and to try and figure out how to crack his puzzle.  
  
“Already ate, uh, sorry.” Danny breathed a laugh – always laughing, always deflecting, always making life out to be one big joke – and shrugged.  
  
“I’m wounded,” Brian drawled. Arin and Suzy’s flight had been late enough that there was barely any traffic on the freeway – a miracle in and of itself – and Danny could already see the exit that would take them to Dan’s house. “I’ll just have to find some other time to take you out while they’re gone. Haven’t had any alone time with you in, fuck, how long?”  
  
“Like, three days?”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
Danny chuckled and turned to stare out his window, drumming his fingers on his knee. He didn’t try to start a conversation and Brian didn’t push him. But he didn’t turn the radio on either. It meant a silent drive back that felt longer than the worst rush hour traffic imaginable.  
  
Brian pulled into Danny’s driveway and put the car in park, turning his head to look at him. Danny looked back, one hand already on the door latch, and the familiar thudding of his heart started, rumbling his ribcage like a giant knocking at a door. After a long moment, Brian reached to push some of Danny’s curls out of his face, his ice blue gaze soft and focused, and he left a trail of tingles over Dan’s cheek when his finger grazed his skin. “Let me know if you need anything,” Brian finally said. “I don’t have...many plans for the next two weeks.”  
  
Dan opened and closed his mouth like a fish, but words wouldn’t come to him. There was a symphony building in his bones, and his blood was waiting for a climax that he wasn’t sure would come. _If this was a movie, he’d lean over and kiss me right now._  
  
But he didn’t. Brian dropped his hand back to his thigh, then unlocked the doors with a sigh. “I’ll let you know when I get home.”  
  
“Yeah,” Danny finally managed with a smile – he’d gotten great at faking it years before he ever met Brian. “I’ll, uh, yeah, I’ll wait for it.”  
  
Brian peeked over at him, something secret in his gaze – so secret that Dan couldn’t even pick it apart – then gave a little wave of his fingers as Dan climbed out of the car. “Have a good night, sweetheart.”  
  
 _Sweetheart..._ His heart sprouted wings and lodged itself in his throat, trying to fly ever higher. “Yeah, bye.” And then he shut the door and started double timing it up the driveway.  
  
 _Yeah, bye?_ Danny rolled his eyes and scoffed. _Your fucking boyfriend calls you a pet name for the first time, and you go with ‘Yeah, bye’ as your beautiful response? Some leading man rock star you are._ He let himself in and leaned against the front door once he shut it, scrubbing his face.  
  
As forward as Brian had always been with Arin, he wasn’t doing shit with Dan, and for the life of him he still couldn’t figure out why. He was a guy that needed to be in control, and Danny had  known that from the moment he first started exchanging emails with him. Brian liked power. He liked dominating. Even if Danny _hadn’t_ seen Brian paddling the shit out of Arin that one time, he would’ve known that.  
  
But here he was, holding himself back.  
  
 _Is it a game?_ Danny kicked off his shoes, then let his feet carry him to the bedroom. _Is he just trying to make me squirm before he actually makes a move? Or is he maybe changing his mind about...us being together like this?_ He slam dunked his shirt into his overflowing laundry basket, then left his jeans in a pile on the floor – he was still a bachelor, and he could still fucking get away with saving them to wear the next day. It wasn’t like he had anyone to impress. He’d been a walking pile of dirty laundry for years and he’d still managed to bag himself two boyfriends – for now, at least, if Brian was reconsidering.  
  
He brushed his teeth and stared at himself in the mirror. _Is it me? Am I doing something weird? Can he tell just by looking at me that I’m scared shitless of him, like, deciding to be Mr. Power Man around me?_  
  
Arin wanting to be fucked senseless wasn’t a surprise. As loud and as much of an asshole as he was from time to time, just a look from Brian and a hand on his shoulder had always been able to settle him down. He’d been sending Brian smoldering looks in the office from the second that they started dating, and Brian had never hesitated to grab him around the back of the neck and pull him in for a kiss.  
  
Arin was submissive with Brian. That was really what it came down to. And Danny wasn’t. He never had been.  
  
The epiphany lit his mind on fire as he climbed into bed, lights off, staring up at the ceiling. That was what all of this meant, right? The fact that Arin and Brian, they had a dynamic that _fit._ Arin was a big old sub. Brian was a giant ass dom. They complemented each other. And then here came Danny, the fucking question mark who followed Brian’s lead every time, fitting into their relationship like a puzzle piece that had accidentally gotten wet and that only slid into its place because it was shoved so roughly.  
  
He didn’t have a natural dynamic. And maybe that was what Brian was waiting on – for Danny to develop one.  
  
How the hell was Danny ever going to be the sub to Brian’s dom? The mere idea of bottoming for him turned his guts inside out. He sat up and hung his legs over the side of his bed, his hands shaking slightly on his knees. He wasn’t ready for that. He thought that both Arin and Brian understood that.  
  
 _”Any time you wanted to fuck me, I would’ve bent over a table and taken it until you were satisfied. I’d keep myself plugged up if you asked so you could have a quickie between every Grump video you ever recorded.“_  
  
Strong and pretty words, ones that Danny practically had tattooed on the inside of his skull. _Brian’s_ words from the first time that the three of them ended up in bed together. Something fantastical made to get Dan under the covers with his nervousness thrown out the window, so that he couldn’t think of anything but how perfect it would be to fuck Brian over a console in the office.  
  
His thoughts slowed, circulating those words over and over again in a centrifuge, analyzing them to their core.  
  
 _That wasn’t just dirty talk. That was a promise._  
  
He couldn’t stay in bed. Danny came to his feet and wandered to his closet, tugging out the one kimono robe he still actually kept in there. It was a joke to have it around, but his house was chilly, and he had goosebumps all over his skin already, and he was too lazy to put on actual clothes. As he knotted the robe around his waist, he thought about how perfect Arin looked on his hands and knees, glancing over his shoulder, begging for Danny to fuck him.  
  
And then he twisted the image until it was _Brian_ begging for him.  
  
 _That’s it, isn’t it? He’s waiting for me to take charge and show him what I want._ He walked over to his desk and opened his laptop, waking it up from sleep. _He wants me to fuck him. He was begging me to be the one in control of everything. He just didn’t wanna scare me by asking. Of course, fuck, that makes so much fucking sense._  
  
He didn’t know a goddamn thing about being dominant outside of a silly gag – his experiences with girls were all vanilla as fuck, minus the few that had wanted him to tie them up or spank them or call them a slut, and they’d always been a little weirdly outside of his comfort zone. But he could learn. He had time to prepare this time, not having something sprung on him when his dick was already hard and the condom was on. He could do research.  
  
 _Who am I, Barry?_ He chuckled and shook his head as he opened his browser, paused, then went to Wikipedia.  
  
The article for BDSM was long – informative, to say the least, but his mind was jumping from one thing to the next so quickly that he skimmed the majority of the information and spent most of his time looking at the pictures. _Would he like being tied up? Maybe on that weird cross thing? Goddammit, do I need to actually learn how to tie knots now? I’m shit at knots!_ He fiddled with his hair as he absorbed everything he could with his leg shaking under the desk and his heart still clogging up his throat.  
  
His phone buzzed in his pants, and he blinked, reaching behind him to root through them and to see the screen. Brian, of course, texting him twenty minutes ago to say that he got home safely, then texting him just now to wish him a good night and sweet dreams.  
  
Dan shut the laptop and came to his feet, typing back a response. _”Good night, you sexy bitch.”_ He sent it before he even thought about questioning it. Too on the nose?  
  
Brian texted back in emojis – a weary-looking face, an eggplant, and sweatdrops. No, he was apparently on the right track. He snorted and put his phone on his nightstand, then caught a glimpse of himself in his mirror.  
  
Being dominate in terms of a...what had Wikipedia called it, a scene? That might be out of Dan’s comfort zone. But as he took in the shape of himself in the kimono, the fabric shining from the moonlight peeking through his blinds, he exhaled shakily.  
  
He didn’t have to be Dan. He was Danny Sexbang in songs and shoots and concerts all the time. Why couldn’t he use that to his advantage with his own boyfriend?  
  
~~  
  
 _Don’t overwhelm him._  
  
Brian settled into their office and woke his computer with a deep sigh. Skipping the part of his routine this morning that involved kissing Arin senseless in the privacy of his own office was more affecting than he’d thought it would be. It left him with ants under his skin and a keen interest in exactly when his other boyfriend would be showing up for work.  
  
 _You can’t treat him like he’s Arin, okay? It’s not that simple. Danny’s his own guy. He’s got his own boundaries. He used to get nervous when he saw you so much as hold Arin’s hand. Don’t overwhelm him._  
  
Brian had always been a man of patience. If he couldn’t have what he wanted right away, that was all right. He played the long game. And, when it became apparent that he in fact could _never_ have what he wanted, he gently tucked the desire in a filing cabinet in the back of his mind and never acknowledged it again. Denial wasn’t just a game for the bedroom. It was a way of life that he was accustomed to.  
  
Treating Danny with kid gloves, though, that straddled a line that he hadn’t figured out yet, one between patience and utter denial. He’d told himself not even a full year ago that he would never be able to have a relationship with Danny, and into the filing cabinet his thoughts had gone. But here he was, Brian’s boyfriend, someone that cared about him and sat closer to him than ever before and ended up in his bed on a weekly basis. But only with Arin around.  
  
And that meant waiting, possibly putting his desires aside for an entire two weeks before Arin was back to be their go-between – Danny’s safety net. And he could do that.  
  
Difficult as it was, he’d wait as long as he had to for a sign of what Danny wanted him to do.  
  
Even a shy cue would work. Just the night before in the car, he’d waited for Danny to turn to face him fully, or to fiddle with his hands in his lap, or to give him a coquettish look that would’ve coaxed Brian into giving him a good night kiss. But it hadn’t come. Dan had one hand on the door latch and looked at Brian like a cornered wild animal desperate to escape. And so he had let him.  
  
It was fine. Brian was patient. It might take months for Dan to initiate a kiss on his own for the first time. And until then, he’d wait. He’d wait and he’d-  
  
“Morning, babe.” Dan’s voice barely had time to enter his ears before he was tilting Brian’s office chair back and grabbing him upside down by the face and kissing the absolute life out of him.  
  
Brian melted immediately, breathing coming stilted and desperate as Dan dipped his tongue in his mouth and ruined him in a matter of seconds. He lifted a hand and threaded it in his hair, and Dan grabbed his wrist and held it against the back of the chair, dragging another startled gasp from Brian’s lips. And, when Dan finally pulled back and flashed him a smirk, he stared at him, mouth agape, eyes wide.  
  
“Dinner tonight?” Danny asked, tilting his head to the side and lessening the fun house mirror effect of being upside down – though maybe it wasn’t just Brian who had gone absolutely topsy turvy. Maybe it was Opposite Day.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” he finally managed to reply, then cleared his throat. “Are you going to kiss me like that in the restaurant too?”  
  
“I’m not taking you to a restaurant.” Dan’s short, barely there nails scraped over the stubble Brian hadn’t shaved that morning before he pulled away completely. “No, I’m taking you home, babe. We’ll get delivery. Have a nice night in. How’s that sound?”  
  
It sounded both like Brian’s greatest dream and Danny’s biggest practical joke combined. He frowned. “I mean, yeah, but...”  
  
“Great!” Dan patted Brian’s cheek just the once before he turned and headed out of the office. “See you tonight!”  
  
In seconds, a tornado had whipped through the room and thrown everything ass over head. _What the fuck?_ Maybe it hadn’t even been Danny. Maybe it had been some evil twin that Brian had never met before.  
  
Not that he minded, but...being handled so casually like that, he’d never quite gotten the hang of it. _Brian_ was the dominant one, through and through. _He_ was the one who took charge in every situation. He’d never played at being more submissive.  
  
He tucked his hands behind his head and did what came best to him: he analyzed everything he was feeling.  
  
Tension in his shoulders. A rolling in his gut. An erratic thrumming in his chest. The ever present acceleration of his mind starting just this once to stutter, like an engine struggling to start.  
  
 _Did I like it?_ Most signs pointed to no. But most people didn’t react well to a sea change the first time they encountered it. It took time and exposure, slowly dipping their toes in, before they realized it actually wasn’t as frightening as they suspected. That perhaps they could even grow to enjoy it.  
  
There was a reason Danny had reacted like this, and it all had to do with the fact that he wasn’t prepared to be more submissive – or, apparently, on an even playing field. Brian had delved into the scene more than he was willing to admit in polite company, and perhaps that was the reason why his relationship with Arin had so naturally turned to playing at roles, but the fact remained that a relationship could just as well exist with no roles at all – that it _demanded_ evenness, in fact, especially outside of the bedroom. Otherwise things turned stilted and abusive and not at all comfortable to be in.  
  
But Danny was stretching his wings right now. He was figuring something out. And didn’t Brian owe him the same courtesy that Brian’s first few partners gave him – a chance to pick it apart until he was satisfied?  
  
It was the least he could do to go along with it for now – at least in terms of playing. He could always have a talk with him and start shifting the dynamic if it crossed too many lines.  
  
Besides, when it came right down to it, Brian loved Danny. He _loved_ him. He might not have said it in so many words to his face yet, but he adored him with every fiber of his being, and if this was the only way he could have him? If this was the only way they could transition into something intimate alone? He’d do it in a heartbeat. He was a selfish man, at the end of the day. He’d do whatever it took to have what he wanted, as long as everyone else was on board with him.  
  
Even let Danny push him around and hold him down and take anything he needed from him – within scene limits.  
  
 _Fuck it. An old dog can still learn some new tricks. Let’s see how the night goes._  
  
~~  
  
The second that Brian rang Danny’s doorbell, the door flung open, and he quirked a brow. “What, were you just standing there waiting for me?”  
  
“Shut up.” Danny chuckled and pulled Brian in, slamming their bodies together just before he kissed him. The unexpected pleasure of it caught Brian by surprise, and he tilted his head immediately to deepen the kiss, barely aware of how the door shut behind him until he suddenly found himself pressed against it. There was a low moan against his lips as Dan cradled his face, and every part of Brian vibrated with it, like he was trying to sing the song right back to him.  
  
Dan pulled back when Brian was good and breathless, and he took a long look at him before he grinned and grabbed his hand, pulling him deeper into the house.  
  
At that moment Brian expected to be dragged to the bedroom – he was more hungry for kissing than anything else on the planet – but they ended up in the dining room, where thick sub sandwiches sat on plates, already dressed with potato chips on the side and two sodas. No alcohol, but plenty of caffeine.  
  
Danny wanted him clearheaded but very awake for quite a while. _Good to know._  
  
“I got your favorite,” Danny piped up brightly as he tugged Brian’s chair back for him to sit. “Figured, y’know, something light might be good.”  
  
Brian glanced up at him. “What, you don’t want me shitting myself every five minutes from spicy food?”  
  
Danny laughed, that melodic and tinkly sound that always made Brian’s blood run a little hotter, as he sat down and pulled his sliced sandwich into two pieces. “Maybe not, no.”  
  
“Why’s that?”  
  
Dan looked up, his eyes sparkling, and held his gaze. “You’ll find out when I want you to find out.”  
  
Arguments came to the front of his mind, clouding up like fog, and Brian had to fight to push them all back and instead turn his attention to his food. _Let him be in charge. It’s his house. It’s his plans. Go with it. What could go wrong?_  
  
They ate quietly, the thrill of anticipation hanging in the air, and every time that Brian glanced up Dan was already staring at him. Heat lingered in his brown gaze, as warm as the sandwiches on the plate. It made him take stock of everything he did, from chewing to drinking to swallowing.  
  
It wasn’t awkward, necessarily, but there was the sense that he was completely at Danny’s mercy here. No chains or whips or handcuffs in sight, and Brian was _still_ trying to figure out how to put on the perfect show for him.  
  
And Dan seemed to like it. They held a long moment of eye contact, Dan resting his cheek on his fist as he absently ate potato chips, and his gaze dropped to Brian’s thumb as he collected a little bit of mustard on his plate and sucked it into his mouth.  
  
Dan’s hand tightened just a hint more, the knuckles of his fist going white.  
  
“You look distracted,” Brian murmured.  
  
Dan sucked in a deep breath, steeling himself for something, then tossed his uneaten chip on the plate and shoved his chair back. “C’mere.” Before Brian could even breathe Danny was grabbing him by his biceps and dragging him to his feet and crashing their mouths together.  
  
Their teeth clinked painfully just the once, and it seemed to make Dan more determined – he threaded his hand in Brian’s short hair and pulled hard, shooting a shock of pain across his scalp. Brian grunted against his mouth and Dan seared him a little more by digging his teeth into his bottom lip.  
  
 _There’s no more romantic time to kiss me than when my mouth still tastes like onions._ The thought – the entire scene – struck Brian as so ridiculous that he laughed against his mouth.  
  
Dan immediately pulled back, but his grip stayed tight. “What’s so funny?”  
  
He hadn’t expected the sharpness in his tone. They’d always been able to laugh everything off – what was the possibility that this was the first time he’d decided to take something seriously? Brian flicked his eyes over his face. “You. This.”  
  
“Oh, is it?” Dan lifted both eyebrows and nodded slowly before he started walking backward, dragging Brian every little step. “Let’s see what other _funny_ things I can do, huh?”  
  
Brian ended up on his back in Danny’s bed with a gasp, the air crushing out of him when his lover landed on top of him and guided him back into those rough kisses – hard, full of teeth, like he was trying to eat him alive. Like he wanted to absorb him so they’d never be apart.  
  
 _God, what I wouldn’t give for that…_  
  
Brian wrapped his arms around Dan, and he barely touched his back before his wrists slammed back down above his head, just like in the office.  
  
“Keep them there,” Dan warned.  
  
For the first time, Brian caught the slight trembling of Danny’s tone coupled with how his hands shook around his wrists. It was minute, barely even noticeable, but he had spent years documenting and memorizing every little bit of Danny that he could, from interviews to backstage right before a performance to the insistence that he wasn’t even the least bit upset that a venue wasn’t interested in booking them.  
  
He was nervous. _Anxious,_ even. But there was the light of determination in his gaze, even if it wasn’t confident in the slightest.  
  
Any other time, Brian would have stopped him, but here and now – when he was clearly so eager to do a fantastic job of being in control – he lay flat against the bed, every muscle slack, and nodded. “Yeah, yes, sir.”  
  
Dan sucked in a shaky breath, biting his bottom lip as he stared at Brian’s mouth before claiming it again.  
  
He’d never played with being on the still side of immobility before, and laying here and letting Dan run his hands all down his body while starting a slow grind against him, it was maddening and suffocating and intoxicating all at once. It didn’t seem fair that Brian had gone so many years not being able to touch him, and that now that he _could_ Dan was making him wait. But wait he would. He’d wait and take and be Dan’s fucking doll, if that was what he wanted.  
  
As he dragged lips and teeth down Brian’s neck, Dan reached a hand between them and pressed against Brian’s cock. The sheer surprise and adjusting to the mood shift had left him a little less than hard, and Dan froze for a second before he doubled his efforts – sucking marks into his neck, grinding against his thigh, and rubbing him through his jeans.  
  
It was something primal and desperate, something that reached down deep inside of Brian and started pulling a part of him to life that he’d never been able to play with. And as unnerving as that was, he gave in with as much reckless abandon as he could – he rolled his hips into Dan’s hand, pinpoints of electricity breaking across his skin as his arousal built, and Dan made a rough sound of appreciation against his skin before he leaned back to pull Brian’s shirt off.  
  
Dan took a moment to run his hand over the chest hair he found, his eyes flitting over his chest like a moth nervous to land, before he trailed his finger over one of his nipples. They were a sensitive part – always had been – and Brian inhaled sharply through his teeth, tipping his head back with a moan. The singe of pleasure turned into a painful flame as Dan tugged at both of his nipples, then covered one with his mouth and sucked hard, teasing them with the edge of his teeth.  
  
Brian had always been a sadistic son of a bitch, but he’d never taken Dan for the same. He growled and bucked his hips, gasping, trying to get with the program before it ended up right out of his reach – but it was too late. Dan’s hands were at his button and zipper, and his jeans were dragged off seconds later as Dan came to his feet at the edge of the bed.  
  
Brian’s legs dangled, feet barely grazing the floor, and the cold air enveloped his body with the escape of Dan’s heat. They stared at each other as Dan stripped himself down right at the edge of being frantic, leaving a pile of clothes that he almost tripped out of when he went for his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube.  
  
 _Oh shit._ Brian held his breath, eyes widening, and pulled himself up the bed until he was laying flat on it. “Are you gonna fuck me?”  
  
“I’ll be the one that decides that.” His voice was weaker now, a shell of what a true dom would embody, but he threw the bottle on the bed and crawled up beside him. “You’re gonna suck me off first.”  
  
Sparks shot over his skin, and he rolled onto his side, already reaching for Dan’s cock. “Yeah?”  
  
“Fuck yeah. It’s all you’ve thought about, isn’t it? I could’ve made you blow me in the recording booth without even trying.”  
  
“God, yeah.” Brian bit back a moan at the memory – staring at Dan through the glass as he sang his harmony for one of their albums, watching how he shut his eyes with one hand cupping his headphones, so utterly focused on the music that he wouldn’t have even noticed if Brian had crawled in on his hands and knees and sucked him down. It was an old fantasy, one he’d gotten himself off to for years, and finally being able to make some part of it a reality threatened to ruin him. “Please, c’mon.”  
  
“You begging for it?” Dan chuckled as he sat back against the headboard and dragged Brian forward with a painful grip on his arm. “You want my cock in your mouth that bad?”  
  
“ _Fuck._ ” Brian tried to crawl between his legs, but Dan jerked him to the side, keeping him on his hands and knees at a strange angle, his knee brushing against Dan’s side and his toes touching the cool wood of the headboard. It wasn’t what he’d expected, and he glanced over his shoulder at his lover, making sure he was right where he wanted him.  
  
The only response he got was a hand in his hair dragging him down until he was taking the cock in his mouth.  
  
The pressure on his hair didn’t let up, and the fantasies Brian had had of having Danny keep his hands pinned to the arms of his chair as Brian blew him at his own slow, teasing pace flew out the window. No, it was _Dan_ setting the pace here, making him bob his head up and down at the exact tempo and pressure that he wanted. It was something he’d never experienced before. Instinct made him try to pull off, but Dan held him firmly, and Brian gave in, his mind going strangely fuzzy with the unspoken command.  
  
It didn’t take much to relax his mouth and lift his soft palate, to focus on the steady sucking demanded of him, and the simple pleasure of Dan’s immediate gasps and moans wrapped around him and squeezed tightly.  
  
 _He likes this. I’m doing exactly what he wants, and I’m fucking amazing at it, holy shit._  
  
There was the click of a cap suddenly, and as he tried to turn his head to see what it was Dan tightened his grip in his hair again. “No, stay, keep, keep going, Brian...” He sounded so utterly enraptured with him that Brian’s eyelashes fluttered, and he turned every bit of his attention to pleasing him. Sucking him down. Learning the most sensitive places on his cock. Seeing just how much he could take before he felt the warning near the back of his throat.  
  
And then his boxers were being dragged around his knees, and he made a quiet questioning sound that turned into a sharp moan when Dan rubbed a cold, slick finger over the puckered skin of his hole.  
  
 _Oh, fuck, FUCK, this is happening, holy shit-_ He dragged his nails over his sheets as he practically sucked Dan’s finger inside of him with the tiniest bit of stimulation. He had a greedy asshole. He always had. He’d been a goddamn amazing power bottom all through college, and his mind shut down to one aching demand – he needed to be filled _now._  
  
 _I’ve waited too long for you, Danny, c’mon, just, just…_  
  
As Dan pressed his finger inside of him slowly, Brian groaned around his cock and pulled against his grip to try and take him down just a little further – it was an asshole move, but choking on his cock might be the one thing he needed to start fingering him in earnest.  
  
“Hey, who’s in control here?”  
  
 _You are, you are…_ Brian went slack in his grip again, and Dan held him still as he started moving his own hips, fucking up into his mouth with panting gasps as he matched his tempo with the finger buried inside of Brian.  
  
Two fingers came just a little sooner than he was expecting, and he growled, squeezing his eyes shut, pushing through the pain and the temptation to gag and the all encompassing desire to pull away and pin Danny down and ride the shit out of him. _Let him, let him do it, just feel, just…_  
  
And then the pain splintered into rough, raw pleasure as Dan found his prostate, and Brian almost went completely limp. Every inch of him shook as he let his mouth be used, as he let his ass be fingerfucked. _He’s going to fuck me, I know it, I know it, please…_  
  
Dan held him firm as he bucked into his mouth and came hard, straight down his throat, choking Brian in his surprise as his eyes flew open and caught the tail end of Danny’s open and weak face, lips still parted in the aftershocks of his moan.  
  
As he dropped his hips back to the bed, his cock slid free from Brian’s mouth, slick and shining, and Brian opened his mouth to ask if he was all right – and let out another groan as the fingers inside of him went back to rubbing insistently over his prostate.  
  
“Touch yourself,” Dan croaked, looking at him through barely opened eyes, a flush still spreading down his neck and over his chest as he caught his breath. “Touch yourself like the little cockslut you are.”  
  
Words he never thought he’d hear off of Danny’s lips. Brian reached for his dick, jacking himself off hard and fast, driving to the end demanded of him. He came in seconds, catching every drop in his palm, shaking weakly on his hand and knees before he slowly lowered down to press his forehead against Dan’s thigh.  
  
“Nice.”  
  
Brian barked a laugh and peeked over at him. “That’s all you have to say for yourself? Nice?”  
  
“As if you didn’t like it.” Dan’s eyes flicked to his cupped hand full of cum.  
  
 _Some of it. I’m still not...sure._ He weighed the possible consequences of speaking up. Dan was still figuring shit out. He still wasn’t quite sure what he wanted with Brian yet, obviously. And Brian owed it to him to hang in there and figure it out right along with him.  
  
“I’m gonna finish eating.” Dan threw his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes. “Sandwiiiiich...”  
  
“I can’t believe you’re that fucking guy,” Brian teased as he came to his shaky feet, catching himself on the nightstand for just a second before he trusted his muscles to carry him. “Only think about food and sex?”  
  
“That’s a lie! I think about video games sometimes!”  
  
“Right.” He stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, then leaned back against it as he caught his breath.  
  
A glance in the mirror showed him his swollen lips and the flushed, debauched state of his face. He’d been just as ruined as he had anticipated.  
  
Something told him this was going to be a running theme.  
  
~~  
  
It had been strange, being away from Brian on a Saturday, but after the intense experience they’d had together on Friday, the excuse for Dan to go out with a few old friends to a concert while Brian stayed in and caught up on some reading was a welcome respite. For those few golden hours at the show, every little bit of nervousness had been pulled out of his body and cast aside, and the music had wrapped around him and made him feel stronger and more confident in himself than he had been in ages.  
  
Today was Sunday, though, and even riding high as he was on the night before, Dan was ever conscious about the fact that he and Brian had loose plans to see each other _every_ Sunday. Before they’d become a thing, they’d spent the time working on lyrics or music for NSP, or laying out plans for what venues they needed to contact for their shows, or even just sitting around with a movie and daydreaming about where they wanted to go next.  
  
Now that they were boyfriends, Arin had always been there on Sundays too – an unofficial date night that, more often than not, ended with the three of them in Brian’s bed, finally figuring out how the three of them all fit together after a good few months of tension.  
  
But now Arin wasn’t there. Now Dan was the one pushing things forward while Brian eagerly trailed behind him. And after he’d had his fingers buried in Brian’s ass, the only thing he’d been able to think about for forty-eight hours was how it would feel to fuck him instead.  
  
After he spent twenty minutes standing motionless in the shower and running through all the possible ways he and Brian might finally make it happen, he pulled himself together and texted him with a towel still around his waist. _”Hey, we still have plans tonight?”_  
  
He’d gotten dressed before he got the reply back. _”Yeah, same time as usual?”_  
  
 _It’s on._  
  
Dan looked at himself in the mirror, then wrestled the shirt he’d chosen off of his body. He’d pick something less old, maybe something a little more form fitting – a shirt that would make him look fuckable, not like some guy still living in his parents’ garage. And maybe a different pair of jeans? The darker wash, to play up the slight tan of his skin. Maybe not the gross shoes…  
  
He’d practically put himself through a makeover by the time he texted Brian back with shaky hands. _”What are you doing right now? Would it be okay if I went ahead and came over?”_  
  
A read receipt. Silence. Dan had just enough seconds to regret every decision he’d ever made in life when the reply came through. _”Just got out of the shower. Come find me, if you’re that eager.”_  
  
And then a winky face.  
  
Dan was absolutely going to get laid today.  
  
He snagged his leather jacket off of the back of a chair and headed out the door, his head cool in the breeze from his wet curls. He focused on it intently even as he got in the car and pulled out of his driveway and headed toward Brian’s apartment. He registered every minute part of his body – his feet being just a little too cramped in these new shoes, his fingers brushing up and down the leather of his steering wheel, his other foot tapping out a senseless rhythm on the floorboard.  
  
Anything that he could focus on besides how his heart was hammering in his chest.  
  
He had to do this right. He couldn’t fuck it up. He’d had a time or two where he sat back and watched his boyfriends go at each other while he jacked himself off on the other side of the bed, and it had taught him an important lesson. Arin and Brian fucking looked more like a wrestling match than anything else – the two of them rolling around, pinning each other, until it ended with Arin finally submitting with a beautiful moan as Brian bit marks into his neck. He’d never once seen the two of them be something soft and intimate and warm, like most of the sex he’d had with his previous girlfriends and one night stands.  
  
They were something primal. Animalistic. There was a lot of laughing that faded away into sharp groans and moans and begging. They had their own brand of fun that they were clearly used to.  
  
And Dan had to figure out how to get on that train so he didn’t risk disappointing Brian. How shitty would that be, his first time fucking his boyfriend being downright terrible sex because Dan couldn’t get with the program?  
  
No, he had to have a plan. And that plan involved being just as focused on Brian as he always was on Arin.  
  
He pulled into Brian’s complex and sprang out of his car, bouncing up the walkway to his door and knocking, and he fidgeted with his belt until the door opened.  
  
Shit, he still wasn’t used to the way his body reacted to Brian.  
  
He took a second to drink him in – the silver hair, the icy gaze, the way he carried himself like a mountain with firm confidence and strength – and his whole body surged forward like a wave, desperate to crash into him. He wrapped his arms around Brian and pressed a fumbling kiss to his temple with a sigh. “Hey.”  
  
“Hey!” Brian sounded surprised, and he chuckled as he hugged Dan back. There was something sweet about how he pressed his forehead into Danny’s chest. Something intimate that Danny still wasn’t familiar with when it came to him _or_ Arin, for that matter. “Good to see you, eager beaver.”  
  
Danny laughed. “Shut up. Maybe I missed you.”  
  
“Maybe you did.” And then there was a hand on his crotch, casual and searching, and Dan sucked in a sharp breath. “Maybe something else did too.”  
  
Just like that, the moment of sweetness melted away, replaced by a warm, spiciness in its place. Dan pulled back an inch and looked at Brian, searching for something witty and claiming to say back. There was a sparkling amusement in Brian’s eyes even as he held his lips in a thin, perfect line – he was obviously proud of himself for that little joke he’d made as he tried to get the upper hand on Dan – but he wasn’t willing to play that game right now.  
  
If Brian was the dominant one, that would mean that Dan had to be submissive. He would have to take every little thing that Brian _wanted_ him to take, even if he wasn’t sure he was ready to – fingers, a tongue, his dick, any of it.  
  
And that meant that Dan had to be in control.  
  
“You’re the one grabbing my dick,” Dan murmured as he grabbed Brian’s wrist and pulled his hand away, his other hand raking through his hair and jerking his head back an inch. Brian’s lips parted and his eyelashes fluttered, gasping as he looked up at him. A stalemate stretched between them. “Maybe _you’re_ the desperate one, huh?”  
  
Brian fumbled for words for a few seconds, and then he quirked an eyebrow. “Are you just now figuring that out? Where the hell have you been?”  
Dan swooped down and kissed him hard. He crashed his body against Brian’s and held him firm, plundering his mouth little by little, breaking him down into a crumbling powder that Dan could have full control of.  
  
He wasn’t yet sure how he was supposed to put him back together. But he’d figure it out as he went.  
  
Brian’s hands were the only confusing thing. They alternated between grabbing fistfuls of Dan’s shirt and pushing against him, like he was trying to manipulate the kiss himself. That wasn’t happening. Dan kept him still, and soon Brian melted against him, practically limp against his body.  
  
Only then did Dan break the kiss and catch his breath, lips already swollen. “Y’know, I had actually thought about making this a normal date, but you’re being slutty as fuck, aren’t you?”  
  
Brian’s eyes widened. “Am I, now?”  
  
“You sure are.” Dan pushed him back a step, his arms lashing out like whips, but try as he might he didn’t take the least amount of satisfaction from seeing Brian stumble backward and catch himself – not like how he’d seen Brian’s eyes light up every time that he spanked Arin. _Maybe it’s something you develop over time?_ He licked his lips. “You’re ready to be fucked, aren’t you?”  
  
All the air came out of Brian at once, shaky and raw. “Seriously?”  
  
Dan tilted his head. “Am I wrong?”  
  
“No, I just didn’t...” Brian stared at his chest for a long moment, then stood with that same tall confidence that Dan loved seeing resonate off of him. He held Dan’s gaze as he opened his own belt and pushed his zipper down. It felt almost defiant – like Brian was trying to control the pace – and Dan stepped into his space and took a deep breath and shoved his hand down the front of his jeans.  
  
Brian’s cock was formidable even when flaccid, but feeling it fill out against his own palm as he kissed him again only solidified Danny’s decision that he wasn’t ready to take it. How could he? How did any fucking person alive take this goddamn behemoth inside them? Even vaginas were stretchy as shit, and Danny _still_ doubted their ability to take this and _enjoy_ it.  
  
How did Arin do it? Did he just get off on the pain? Or was there something else to it that Danny just wasn’t aware of yet? Was there a manual for anal sex that he hadn’t gotten in the mail? And did it have something to do with the prostate that he’d never even tried to find inside of himself yet?  
  
Brian moaned through the kiss, weak and quiet, and Dan forced himself to focus on the present. He shoved Brian’s pants and boxers down around his ankles, then pulled him toward his bedroom in his t-shirt and sock feet.  
  
It wasn’t as scary to shove Brian on his back this time, nor was it hard to whip his shirt over his head as he crawled on top of him. Brian’s skin still felt warm and humid from the shower he’d been in, and Dan shoved his hands up his shirt, exploring every inch of his skin that he could touch. Brian’s cock throbbed against his thigh, and Dan swore under his breath as he worked at his own belt with one hand, one of his legs shoved between Brian’s thighs, barely keeping his balance as he straddled him.  
  
Things were going far faster than he’d anticipated. They’d blown the engine and now they were free falling with no one to catch them but each other. It made something rumble deep inside of Danny – the beginnings of an earthquake, one that might shake the both of them to their very foundations.  
  
He only hoped neither of them were cracked.  
  
Pressing his naked body against Brian’s seared him raw, and he clung to him with a gasp, one hand in his hair, the other wrapped around his waist and crushed into the mattress. _Maybe it’s too fast. Maybe we need to stop._  
  
And then Brian wrapped a hand around both of their cocks and gave long, slow tugs, and Danny’s mind shut off completely as he buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck and groaned.  
  
He rode the wave of sensation, every inch of him focused on the drag of Brian’s rough hand. He couldn’t focus. Brian’s thumb smeared over his head and spread their precum down both of their shafts.  
  
“Now who’s slutty?” Brian whispered, tugging at his earlobe with his teeth.  
  
Every part of Dan snapped to attention. It was a game. A power play. A wrestling match, just slower. And he couldn’t lose. Not when Brian’s other hand was sliding down and squeezing his ass, like he had a plan – a purpose that he wasn’t willing to let go of.  
  
As far as Dan knew, these matches only ended one way, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to be on the bottom.  
  
Dan wrapped his hand around Brian’s throat and pinned him down to the mattress as he sat up, gritting his teeth as he glared down at him. Brian opened up to him immediately. Those pretty blue eyes widened and his hands dropped to the mattress and his legs spread just enough to be noticeable.  
  
 _That’s more like it._ He swallowed down the tremor in his mind and pushed forward like a bull in a china shop.  
  
“Turn over.” Dan pushed away from him and rolled Brian over himself, then used his hands on his hips to shove him further up the bed, dragging the sheets with him. He pushed his wet curls away from his face, then went for the drawer he knew the lube was in, grabbing both it and a loose condom. “Who’s the one still spreading their legs, huh? Who’s ready to get fucked?”  
  
Brian turned his head and craned his neck, watching as Dan spread lube over his fingers, and Dan met his gaze for a long moment as he rubbed the digits together – he’d left them cold last time, had been frustrated at himself that night for how annoying that must have been for him to feel, and the least he could do this time was warm up the liquid before he pushed inside of him.  
  
“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” It was easier to talk than focus on his own uncertainties. “Been waiting for me to fill you up with my fucking cock. You’ve been wanting me to hold you down and fucking take what I want while you begged for more.”  
  
Brian pulled the sheets into his fists, angling to push his hips into the air. “You want me?” he asked.  
  
Dan’s entire body throbbed with need. “Fuck yeah, I do. And I’m gonna have you. I’m gonna fucking ruin you tonight.”  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
Just like he would if Arin started backsassing him, Dan whipped his other hand out and spanked Brian, one solid blow across the ass, and Brian made a rough, surprised sound and buried his face in the pillows. Dan watched the beginnings of color spread across his pale cheek – less fleshy and plush than Arin’s, dusted with the same silvery hair on his head and chest, no less interesting to watch his hand’s shape form on – and then he landed another spank, fascinated by the barely there jiggling that so quickly tapered off.  
  
“Fuck,” Brian mumbled into the pillows, but he didn’t pull his hips away. He kept them held high like a bitch in heat, like he _wanted_ this.  
  
And Dan wasn’t going to tell him no.  
  
“That’s right, you little slut.” Words poured from his lips as he spanked him over and over again, coloring both cheeks a bright and vivid pink that never had a chance to fade before he was landing another blow. “Fucking cockslut, look at you, _look_ at you, you’ll do anything if I’ll give in and finally fuck you, won’t you? If I fill you up and fuck you so hard that you can’t sit down tomorrow? God, you’re incredible.”  
  
Brian’s moans turned into sharper sounds, muffled against the pillow, and his body began to tremble under the force of Dan’s hand. He twisted his neck around finally, snapped the word “Stop” for the first time, and Danny hesitated for just a second before he cupped one hand around Brian’s hip and slid a finger inside of him.  
  
Brian’s breath came out shakily as he watched him from around his own shoulder, and Dan jolted his gaze between Brian’s vulnerable eyes and the sight of his finger disappearing inside of him. He was too shaky. Too unable to focus. He buried a second finger in him quickly, and Brian caught his breath and squeezed his eyes shut before palpably relaxing just a little more around his digits.  
  
Danny didn’t trust himself to speak anymore. If he did, he’d say more filthy things. He’d spank him again. He’d make every second of this about control. And that wasn’t what he wanted.  
  
 _Isn’t it?_  
  
It was getting easier and easier to find the rough gland deep inside of his boyfriends, and Brian’s body went slack when Danny brushed over it. “Mm, fuck...”  
  
“That feel good?” Danny murmured.  
  
“Yeah, holy shit, it’s just...” His trembling hips finally dropped until he was flat on the bed again, his legs sprawled out on either side of where Danny was kneeling. “Want you to fuck me, Danny, please, fuck me right the fuck now, don’t make me wait anymore.”  
  
The softness that was spreading in his body slipped away, replaced by his determination, and Dan nodded as he pulled his fingers free and slid the condom on. “Yeah, I’ve got you, Brian, don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need.” He slicked his cock with fresh lube and positioned himself, pressing the head of his cock against Brian’s hole, and for a long moment he simply looked at him – the faint freckles on his shoulders, the arch of his spine, the soft flesh around his waist.  
  
Brian took a deep breath and pushed his hips back, and Dan shook from his reverie and rocked with him, easing inside of him.  
  
Brian’s groan bled into a shaking exhale, his hands trembling where they grabbed hold of the sheets for purchase, and a familiar spark caught flame in Dan’s chest. He twitched through the tightness around his cock, and when he felt Brian buck back against him a little more he pressed his full weight on top of him and buried himself inside him with one single thrust.  
  
“Fuck!” Brian’s shaking rumbled the mattress, making the headboard vibrate like Dan’s whole vision was blurring, and he ground against his lover’s ass and ate up the pained grunt that shot through the air.  
  
“You’re mine, aren’t you?” Dan whispered against his neck.  
  
“Yours,” Brian murmured back, the single word slurred at the edges, and the tone of it made Dan furrow his brow. He reached and turned Brian’s head so he could smell his breath, but there wasn’t a hint of alcohol to be found.  
  
“Tell me who you belong to,” he prompted, concern spreading through him.  
  
“Yours, _yours,_ sir, I’m yours, please fuck me...”  
  
More slurring. No alcohol. Something about it rattled around in Dan’s head, but he couldn’t trace the familiarity, and the more he focused on his worry the more nervous he became. _Maybe this is normal._ He sat up and grabbed Brian’s red, tender ass and began to fuck him in earnest, matching the pounding pace of his head. _Just don’t stop, if you stop it means you’ve failed, just, just keep…_  
  
It didn’t take much for him to lose himself in the way that Brian opened himself up, spreading his legs as far as he could, weakly pushing his hips back to meet Dan thrust for thrust as best as he could. His eyes were shut and his lips parted, a thin little string of drool pooling on his pillow, and his moans were interspersed with breathy nonsensical words. It was like Brian had lost himself too – like he’d been waiting for this for so long that he couldn’t hold back his need now that he had a taste of it.  
  
Brian buried his face in the pillow after a few seconds, his sounds so muffled that there were practically none at all, and something frantic inside of him made Dan lash out his hand and grab Brian by his hair and jerk his head up again. A sharp groan filled the air, his eyes squeezed so tightly closed that his forehead wrinkled, and Dan’s heart skipped a beat. “Look at me, cockslut.”  
  
Brian’s eyes flew open and he stared back at him, face red and pupils wide, just as ruined as Dan had wanted to make him.  
  
A fiery cyclone twisted up inside of him, the sharp spark of arousal wrapping around his growing fear, and he shoved Brian’s face back in the pillow and held him there as he bucked his hips and came hard.  
  
Dan collapsed on top of him, his body shaking just as feverishly as Brian’s, and he wrapped one of his legs around his and let out a weak sound. If he didn’t know himself any better, he would’ve called it a sob. Flayed open, every part of him scooped out and thrown on the floor, he lost touch with himself, and he buried his face in Brian’s hair and breathed in his scent until the world began to right itself again a few seconds later.  
  
Brian wasn’t moving besides his breathing, and when Dan pulled out of him, removing the condom immediately on instinct, Brian softly whined. _Whined._ Like a puppy. He’d never heard anything quite like it coming from him. “...Brian?”  
  
His hand slid out and touched Dan’s arm, tugging it toward him as weak as a kitten.  
  
This wasn’t Brian. This wasn’t the man he knew, the one that was always teasing and tormenting everybody around him, the one who wouldn’t let anything get him down. Brian found sweet vengeance against anyone who ever pranked him. Brian could barely be quiet for even five minutes, if he wasn’t working.  
  
Brian wouldn’t be laying there making soft, placating noises as he grabbed at Dan, breathing shallowly. He’d be teasing him for his performance. For losing his head. For being a rough asshole. _”That’s my job,”_ he’d say. And Dan would laugh and smack his arm and call him a dick, and they’d move seamlessly back into banter, just like they always had.  
  
Dan pulled his arm out of his grip and tossed the condom in the bedside trashcan as an excuse to put some distance between them. He tried to catch his breath, but a glance over his shoulder told him that Brian was staring at him with slitted, watery blue eyes, barely moving, clinging to the sheet that Dan had just moved away from.  
  
“You’re tired,” Dan said, forcing a little laugh. “Of course you are. I just fucked the shit out of you. You’re just, you’re tired, right?”  
  
Brian wrinkled his brow and opened his mouth, his bottom lip trembling. “...tired?”  
  
“Yeah! Yeah, you’re just...” His chest was tight. Dan came to his feet and grabbed his pants, leaving his boxers on the floor. “You need to take a nap, dude, you look like death warmed over right now.” _Fucking fantastic pillow talk, man, you’re not fucking this up at all, you’re totally doing everything right._  
  
The bed creaked, and Dan looked over to see Brian sitting up slightly, then collapsing back down, his face a mask of confusion. “Going...?”  
  
“Just, uh, I need, I forgot my phone at home, and someone could...” He snagged his shirt and pulled it on, and even when the tag itched his neck he left it, grabbing his keys where they’d fallen on the floor out of his pocket – the pocket where his phone was still safely hidden. “I’m gonna be right back, okay?”  
  
“Danny?”  
  
 _Shit, shit, shit-_ He stumbled through Brian’s living room, shoving his shoes on as he went, barely getting outside before he took a sharp breath of the cool air and staved off the panic attack he felt building up.  
  
He made it to his car and no further. He sat in the drivers seat and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel, taking the deepest breaths that he could manage, calming the storm as best as he could before he even tried to tackle the maelstrom of thoughts ripping through his mind.  
  
~~  
  
He was gone.  
  
Danny had been there one moment, pressing every inch of himself against him, drowning in him, pushing together until they were practically one being.  
  
And now he was gone.  
  
Brian stared at the doorframe, eyes burning. He wouldn’t blink. If he blinked, he might miss Danny, and then he might never see him again.  
  
What if he never saw Danny again?  
  
His vision blurred immediately as his breathing went shallow, but he didn’t stop staring. Didn’t stop waiting. He’d wait for him forever. He’d die in this bed, if that was what it took to be good. Good boys got rewarded – Brian would live and die by that code. Every single time someone had been good for him, he’d rewarded them immediately. He’d never gotten off on delayed gratification.  
  
Maybe Danny did. And so he’d wait. He’d wait until Danny remembered that Brian was good and that he deserved something.  
  
A tear streaked hot and wet down his cheek, and Brian held his breath, trying to keep them at bay – good boys didn’t cry for no reason. And Brian _didn’t_ have a reason right now. He’d asked Danny to fuck him so hard – hard enough that he felt like something might’ve broken inside of him. He’d begged for everything that Danny could give him – maybe not the spanking, but surely he’d deserved that too. At the very least, it had been Danny marking him so that everybody knew that Brian belonged to him.  
  
Two more tears fell, treacherous things that didn’t understand.  
  
Maybe _Brian_ didn’t understand.  
  
Maybe Brian was as expendable as a tear. Maybe he’d never done anything particularly special to keep Danny around. Maybe that was why Danny had left.  
  
Maybe right now, Danny was getting on a plane to go to Japan and live it up with Arin and Suzy, laughing and flourishing and forgetting all about the naked raw Brian laying alone in his bed in America.  
  
That was fine. Brian would wait.  
  
One of his tears trickled sideways with the angle he was laying, and when it slid over the bridge of his nose and tickled his eyelashes, he blinked, and he immediately sucked in a sharp breath, panic sparking in his chest. He’d done what he said he wouldn’t do. He’d been bad. A liar to the core. He rubbed the tears away and tried to sit up, but the burning inside of his body made him lay right back down again.  
  
He could still wait. He’d just, just tell Danny that he’d blinked once – just the once – and he’d take another spanking, and then everything would be okay.  
  
Reality stretched out until he didn’t realize how much time was passing. Had it been a year yet? Maybe a decade? Waiting for Danny to come back to him and see how good he was? Or had it only been five minutes?  
  
He blinked again.  
  
 _He’s not coming back, is he?_  
  
He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, letting out rough sobs as he dragged his nails down his arm, the tiniest bit of penance that he could give.  
  
~~  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _I broke Brian somehow. I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t know why it happened. But something’s gone wrong._  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _I didn’t read enough. I didn’t study enough. Somewhere along the way I missed whatever the fuck just happened and now I don’t even know how to start fixing it._  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _Think of Brian. Think of Arin. Think of them together. Have you ever seen this before? Can you even imagine what Brian would do?_  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _Brian wouldn’t leave. But that’s because Brian’s strong. And whatever happened in these, he wasn’t strong anymore. He practically wasn’t Brian either, he just, he…_  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _“I’m not mad at you. I haven’t been mad at you at all. It’s okay.”_ Brian’s voice rang through his mind, and he took a deep breath, feeling the warmth of it wrap around him like a blanket. _Where did I hear him say that before?_  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _Bedroom. Brian’s bedroom. The front door had been unlocked. I’d just been stopping by to, to see them, and I...Arin was blindfolded? Crying? He was wrong. He wasn’t Arin._  
  
Breathe in. Breathe out.  
  
 _“It’s called aftercare, Daniel. I took Arin through a very intense scene. He went into subspace.”_  
  
The lightning struck, and he jolted up, eyes flying open. “Aftercare.”  
  
His hand flew toward the glove compartment and pulled out the international phone card that Arin had reminded him about, the one he thought he wouldn’t even end up needing. There was a number too, tucked away in his phone, the number of the place where they’d be staying, and Danny walked through the instructions on the card as carefully as he could to make the call.  
  
The phone rang twice, matching the alarm bells going off in his head – and then Arin’s sleepy voice answered. “Moshi moshi?”  
  
“Arin!” Dan raced into action, opening the door and slamming it shut behind him as he ran back up the sidewalk. “Dude, I fucking need you right now, something’s, like, I think I broke Brian?”  
  
“The fuck does that mean?” Arin asked, laughing.  
  
He threw open the front door. “I-I, we had sex, right? And I was-”  
  
“Congrats on the sex-”  
  
“Shut up!” He almost ran straight into the hallway wall as he jerked at an angle through Brian’s bedroom door. “I think Brian’s in that subspace thingy and I don’t fucking know what...” He trailed off, eyes widening.  
  
Brian was laying in a ball on his side, wrapped around a pillow, still completely naked from head to toe. He was _crying._  
  
It wasn’t the first time that Danny had seen him cry, but very close. And never with these sorts of wracking sobs, like his ribcage had been wrenched open with a crowbar and every bit of him had spilled out. “Fuck,” Danny whispered, his hand on the doorframe, desperately fighting the urge to run again.  
  
“How the hell did you put Brian in subspace?” Arin asked, sounding more stunned than anything.  
  
Brian lifted his head, holding his breath for just a second. “Danny?” His voice was wrecked – rough, barely there, more a whisper than the tone he was so used to hearing his name in.  
  
Dan pushed into the bedroom and climbed on the bed, dropping the phone to his side. “Hey, sweetheart.”  
  
Brian pushed himself up, sitting with the pillow like a shield between them, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I-I did, but I’m just, I’m-”  
  
“Shh, shh, hey, it’s okay, I’m here, all right?” He gritted his teeth through the fear and crawled closer, coming around to his side. The apologies didn’t stop – they fell from Brian’s swollen lips like open flowers – and Danny hesitated for only a second before he wrapped one arm around him and lifted the phone with the other. “He is absolutely in that subspace thingy.”  
  
“Shit, dude, what were you doing?”  
  
“I-I was hard with him, and I just-”  
  
“Did he _ask_ you to be hard with him?”  
  
“I made mistakes, dude, okay! I need you to help me fix it!”  
  
“Motherfucker...” Arin sighed. “Okay, a-are you touching him and stuff?”  
  
Brian dropped the pillow and crawled straight into his lap, the weight of him pressing down on Danny like a thick winter blanket. “I’m sorry-”  
  
“You don’t have to apologize, Brian.” Danny wanted to keep his voice firm – some way to let Brian know that he wasn’t kidding around – but his tone went just as weak and tremulous as he gently rocked him back and forth. “You didn’t do anything wrong, _I_ did, okay? I fucked up. It was me. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“ _I’m_ sorry,” Brian pressed, like he’d barely even heard him, and Danny gave up on talking to him – he was obviously only making whatever he was going through worse.  
  
“I’ve, yeah, he’s in my lap. I’m holding him.”  
  
“Good. Just keep touching him. It’s called grounding. It’ll start bringing him back.”  
  
He ran his hand up and down Brian’s back in long, smooth strokes, exploring the planes of his body like he’d wanted to for months – maybe even years, if he was being honest with himself. He memorized every arch of his spine like a cartographer, and he nuzzled against his neck and found himself counting the heartbeats he felt with the press of his nose on his pulse. He held him so tightly that he couldn’t take a full breath – and somehow that was _okay._ Somehow it was exactly what he needed.  
  
Brian’s string of apologies had trickled off, replaced by a quiet reverie of groans every time he exhaled, and Danny kissed over his cheek, feeling the smooth skin – he’d shaved for him today. He’d wanted this too – had wanted to be something soft and sweet for Danny – but maybe he hadn’t wanted how it ended.  
  
“Is he calming down?” Arin asked.  
  
Danny tucked the phone against his shoulder and wrapped both arms around Brian. “I-I think so. He’s not apologizing anymore, he’s just...sort of here, I guess, I-I don’t know.”  
  
“That’s okay. That means you’re doing good, Danny, keep it up.”  
  
Danny squeezed his eyes shut and nuzzled Brian’s temple, his nose tickling through the short hair there. _How could I have run away from him? Just because I was scared? Brian’s scared me shitless every single day since I met him. And he’s never run away from me, not once. What the fuck is wrong with me?_  
  
“You feeling okay, Danny?” Arin asked.  
  
“I’m trying. I feel like shit. I just left him like this. I didn’t know what else to do.”  
  
“Hey, we’re gonna fix it, okay? And then you can apologize, and everything’s gonna be okay.”  
  
God, he hoped so. He prayed for that with every fiber of his being.  
  
“Try talking to him. Say something sweet. Compliments. Let him know how good he is and what he means to you.”  
  
It was worth a shot. And it wasn’t like it was hard for Danny to find reasons to compliment him – every single thing about Brian was practically perfect. He opened his eyes and turned his head, catching sight of Brian’s gaze, how earnest it was. “You’re so fucking amazing, dude, do you even know? How you make me a better person every single day? A harder worker? How you make me push myself until I get where I wanna be? And how I wouldn’t even wanna be there if it was without you?”  
  
Brian’s moans dropped away, replaced with a steady silence only broken by occasional shivery sighs.  
  
“You’re just, you’re so fucking good. You make the sun look like it’s slacking off. You keep me laughing and you keep me focused and...and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
He’d always thought it would be harder, spilling out exactly what he thought about Brian without the influence of alcohol or drugs or something, but not today. Not after what they’d just gone through.  
  
He hugged him a little tighter, squeezing the air out of Brian, and pressed a kiss to his ear. “I love you, Brian.”  
  
The gasp on the other end of the line was cut off by Brian grabbing both of Danny’s arms and looking him dead in the eye. “...you mean it?”  
  
This should’ve been scary. But it was somehow the easiest thing that he’d ever done. “Yeah, dude. I love you a hell of a lot. Surprise!”  
  
Brian gaped at him, his gaze rushing all over his face, before a perfect, shaky smile spread across his lips. “Wow.” And then he laughed – a beautiful laugh, rough and weak but so very _him_ that Danny’s heart soared. “How long?”  
  
“God, don’t make me do the math.”  
  
He laughed again as he pressed closer still, his thighs hugging Danny’s hips, and he slowly pet through his tangled damp curls as they got more situated. “Sometimes I think I’ve loved you since the day I was born.”  
  
Danny grinned. “You loved a sperm. That’s fucking gross.”  
  
“Shut up...” Still weak. Still tattered around the edges. But more Brian than he’d been in those fraying moments, and Danny held tight to him.  
  
Arin cleared his throat on the other side of the phone. “So, uh, sounds like you’ve got it, just-”  
  
“I love you too, Arin!” Danny blurted out. “I’m sorry, I love you too, dude, I-I was distracted, I meant to tell you too, I’m so sorry.”  
  
Arin cracked up, his tone high-pitched and utterly relieved – Danny knew a thing or two about that. “I love you too, you fucking nerd. Listen, just, like, stay close to Brian for a while, okay? He’ll know when he’s better. Just chill out and do shit together.”  
  
“Yeah, absolutely.” For the first time since Arin and Suzy had left for their trip, he felt an emptiness in his chest, as vast as a desert, something that ached and burned, and it took him a long few seconds to identify it. “I miss you.”  
  
Arin hummed. “I miss you too, dude. And Brian. Hey, see if he wants to talk to me for a second.”  
  
Danny pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at Brian. “Hey, you wanna talk to...” As he watched Brian’s even breaths, his eyes shut, his cheek pillowed on Danny’s chest, he shook his head with a smile and went back to the phone. “He’s out like a light, man.”  
  
“That’s good. That’s probably what he needs right now, anyway.” Arin sighed. “Well, when he wakes up, tell him I love him, and give him a big gross kiss with lots of sloppy tongue for me.”  
  
“You are disgusting.”  
  
“But you love me.”  
  
Danny closed his eyes, basking in the bizarre and yet strangely familiar sensation of _loving_ someone again, after it had been so fucking long. “Yeah. I love you.”  
  
The sigh Arin gave this time was happy, like a swoon, and Danny giggled. “Hey, have a good day,” Arin said. “Maybe next time you have an emergency try to stage it for, like, daytime here, not in the middle of the fucking night.”  
  
“Shit, my bad.”  
  
“Yep. I’ll get you back for it. Love you, talk to you later.”  
  
“Bye, sweetheart.” It came to him so naturally – that sweetness, how deeply he felt the desire to make sure the both of them knew, really _knew_ that he cared – that it felt a bit like coming home. Danny loved people deeply. He adored them. But rarely romantically. Rarely with the desire to be with them for so long, holding their hands and kissing their cheeks and calling them his lovers.  
  
 _Fuck, man._ It was weird. But good. And he’d stick around it as long as he could.  
  
~~  
  
When Brian woke up, the room was dark, from the blinds to the hallway, and he squinted. Shifting even slightly lit a firecracker on his ass, and he gingerly rolled onto his stomach and let out a pained breath. _Spanking. Rough fucking. Right._  
  
As he reached out into the darkness, his fingers brushed over warm skin, and his eyes adjusted just enough for him to catch sight of the dark head of curls on his light gray pillowcase. _Love._ And every tiny bit of pain in his body melted away.  
  
Danny loved him. _Loved_ him. Not just for his body. Not just for his expertise in music and business. Not just for the paths they’d already trailblazed together. It was for all of that and _more._ And that was fucking incredible.  
  
His earlier panic felt like it had come a decade ago. Though every muscle in his body ached – he knew intellectually that he’d probably tensed his entire body in the throes of his anxieties – his mind was clearer. And his stomach empty.  
  
 _Middle of the fucking night and you barely ate half your breakfast earlier. Fantastic. Your body absolutely doesn’t require a caloric intake to function, Brian, you’re right, you’ve grown so fucking far beyond that._  
  
He crawled on his belly until he could wrap around Danny’s torso, his chin resting on his chest, and he got to see the moment that his lover began to shift. His brown eyes shone in the faint light, just a hint of a sparkle catching Brian’s gaze.  
  
Brian smiled. “Hey there.”  
  
“Brian!” Danny sat up, dragging Brian into his arms, and hugged him tightly. “Hey, how are you? Are you okay?”  
  
“I feel like I went through about eighty wormholes completely naked. Do you know how that feels, Danny? Being knocked around all the spaceships using those for interstellar transportation? How easy it would’ve been for me to break my dick?”  
  
“Oh my God, you’re back to normal, holy shit.”  
  
Brian chuckled and kissed his cheek, then cupped his face and left a lingering kiss on his lips. “Yep. Still that asshole.” He quirked his brow. “Wanna take back anything you said?”  
  
Danny touched his face. It was more tentative than he’d been before, but the trail of his fingers over his skin left sparks behind that made his soul crackle with joy. “Nah.”  
  
“Excellent. Then you won’t mind making the dude you love some dinner.”  
  
“Fuck you.”  
  
Danny made them dinner. It was ramen with nothing added but the provided flavor packet, but he made it anyway.  
  
As Danny babysat the boiling water, Brian read his phone card in the dim light of his bedside lamp, then managed to get Arin on the phone. “Hey.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
Just hearing Arin’s voice made Brian bundle a little further into the sheets, chasing the warmth that Arin always gave him without even trying. “I’m alive. Danny told me he called you.”  
  
“What, you don’t even remember him being on the phone with me? Fuck, you must’ve been on Venus by then.”  
  
There were slight lapses in his memory from just a few hours before that he would prefer not to acknowledge. He valued his mind more than anything about himself. Not having full access to it was an utter betrayal. “There was...a lot of just focusing on Danny, I’m afraid. I don’t really know how to describe it. It was like being caught in a vacuum and trying to swim through it to get to him, maybe?”  
  
“Yeah.” Arin’s voice dropped into something quiet and understanding. “Was that your first time getting there? Ever?”  
  
“Afraid so. Probably could’ve handled it better if I’d just told him to stop, but...”  
  
“Was that something you always wanted? To sub?”  
  
“On the contrary,” Brian drawled, “I’m not sure I’d ever wanna go there again. Not without you around, at least. Danny...he was enthusiastic. But he doesn’t really know how scenes work yet, I don’t think. I’m not saying he’d know how to play us against each other, if we ever tried subbing together, but at the very least I know you’d be able to look out for both of us.”  
  
Arin hummed in acknowledgment. “You’re soft with Danny. You’ve _always_ been soft with him.”  
  
As ready as Brian was to stop Danny and correct him if he ever erred, he couldn’t deny that he always went easier on him than he might’ve any other member of their group. He sighed. “Yeah.”  
  
“And you know I’ll kick his ass just for fun.”  
  
Brian barked a surprised laugh and rubbed his face. “And you know that I’d love to watch.”  
  
“Sadist freak.”  
  
He chuckled and closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of Arin’s voice. “I love you.”  
  
“Love you too. Wish I could just crawl through the goddamn phone right now.”  
  
“Suzy might not appreciate that.”  
  
“True. But I’ll be home in, what, a week and a half? You might have to give me a day to adjust to the jetlag, but I hope you know I’m immediately divebombing your apartment and staying there for a weekend as soon as I can.”  
  
He grinned. “Sounds perfect, babe. Take your time. I’ll wait forever.”  
  
“I won’t make you wait.” Arin’s voice audibly held his smile, and his tone wrapped around him even tighter than the blankets on Brian’s bed. “I’ve gotta go. We’re heading out for the day. But I love you, all right?”  
  
“Love you too. Be safe. Buy me something fucking cool.”  
  
“Done!”  
  
Brian hung up on the call and steeled his body for a few seconds before he got up on his hands and knees. His entire body shook, weaker than it had been even after a workout, and he swore under his breath as he tentatively rolled onto his side. _Deep breath._ And then he sat on his wrecked ass with a choked grunt.  
  
 _Yep. Definitely more of a sadist._  
  
The light in the kitchen went out, and Brian looked up as Danny carried in two bowls of ramen, both of them situated awkwardly on plates, and two cups of water squeezed awkwardly between his elbows and torso. “Finally. The room service here sucks.”  
  
“Fuck you, take your water before I drop it on you.”  
  
Brian smiled and saved both cups, and Danny breathed a sigh of relief as he crawled on the bed on his hands and knees. “Thanks for the food.”  
  
“You’re welcome!” Danny got them both situated against the headboard, plates in their laps, before he squinted. “You’re sitting.”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“Why are you sitting?”  
  
“I’m glad you asked. You see, when we began to evolve, our _gluteus maximus_ evolved _with_ us to be fatty and plush, so that we could have something to rest on if we ever needed to pause. Now, interestingly enough, our body isn’t actually made for as much sitting as we-”  
  
“Oh my God, I get it, you’re brilliant,” Danny drawled. “I spanked the shit out of you, dude, you should be, like...not doing that.”  
  
Brian shrugged, twirling noodles. “Still got a little masochism in me. What can I say?”  
  
They ate silently for a few minutes, both stuffing their empty bodies faster than might’ve been strictly necessary. Sipping the hot broth calmed the rawness of Brian’s throat – he’d done more talking or begging or moaning than he’d expected, apparently – and chasing it with the cold water helped him start rebuilding little by little.  
  
Danny kept watching him, though. He felt it. He caught sight of it from his peripheral vision. And, lover or not, it started to drive him over the edge. “I’m not broken, Danny, I promise. You were rough with me, but you didn’t snap me in half.”  
  
“I know, I know, I just...” Danny sighed and set his plate close to the edge of the bed before he turned to look at him. “I fucked up. I fucked up a _lot._ And it’s all my fault. And I’m really sorry.”  
  
He’d hoped to put this off until they’d finished eating, at least, but his lover had a massive heart – it made sense that he’d want to clear the air as quickly as he could. Brian took his hand, threading their fingers together, and turned their grip this way and that, studying the delicate arches of Danny’s knuckles. “...how did it start? You going after me like you did?”  
  
“I don’t even know.” Danny wrapped both of his hands around Brian’s and squeezed them for a moment. “I was...scared of what you might want from me. With Arin being gone, I mean. You and him have such an obvious connection with, like, him being under you, you being over him, whatever, and I thought since he was gone that...you might push that on me.”  
  
“You thought I’d make you my bitch,” he drawled.  
  
“Basically.” He chuckled, then shook his head, the humor vanishing again. “I didn’t know if I was ready for that. But I thought I’d disappoint you if I said I wasn’t. And, y’know, you said you wouldn’t mind letting me fuck you or whatever, so I just...thought that if you were only happy in a relationship that had that sort of power dynamic, then maybe you wouldn’t mind me being over you instead.”  
  
That made sense. He nodded and thumbed over Danny’s knuckles. He took deep, steady, calm breaths – this wasn’t something to fight about, even if he _had_ felt a little used by the entire experience. “Did I ever say something to you that made you feel I was only interested in a dominant and submissive relationship?”  
  
“Well...no, but, you and Arin-”  
  
“Me and Arin have a relationship that suits us both.” He finally looked up and met Danny’s gaze. “You and me should have a relationship that suits us both. And that doesn’t mean it has to look like what me and Arin have, you realize that, right?”  
  
Danny didn’t reply. He looked away, staring at the wall.  
  
After a few seconds, Brian lifted Danny’s hands and kissed both of them, then cradled them in his lap. “...I’m sorry that I didn’t speak up. I...I was afraid too.”  
  
“You? Of what?”  
  
“That maybe you _only_ wanted a relationship with me if you could be in control. That maybe it was the only way you would’ve been able to be happy with me. I thought I’d let you show me what you wanted, and that I’d do whatever it took to stick with it. Guess I sort of figured we’d eventually find some happy medium.”  
  
Silence. “Are you fucking kidding me?”  
  
Brian looked up, stunned.  
  
“You’re telling me that the both of us spent a fucking half a week together playing some part neither of us really understood just so the other person would be happy? We were both doing the exact same fucking thing? And fucking neither of us were actually all that happy?”  
  
Brian quirked a brow. “Are you telling me that you _didn’t_ enjoy fucking the shit out of me after you spanked me within an inch of my sanity?”  
  
Danny opened his mouth. He closed it again. He narrowed his eyes slowly. “I-I don’t know if there’s a right answer to this question?”  
  
He snorted, then scooted closer, their knees touching gently between them. “Listen, if you always want me to bottom, that’s fine with me. And if you wanna be rough with me sometimes, that’s fine with me too. But we have to have ground rules. Colors. Safe words. And you have to understand that I’m not… _good_ at being submissive.”  
  
“I don’t think I’m good at being dominant.” Danny was already shaking his head. “Maybe we, uh, maybe we don’t play rough for a little while? Until we figure out just...how _we_ are?”  
  
Brian cupped his cheek, and he watched how Danny’s eyes widened, their beautiful chocolate brown shade as lovely as the first time he’d looked into them. “We can try again. Before Arin gets home. If you’d like, maybe I could...come stay overnight at your house? We can take our time – no expectations, no power dynamic, nothing. Just us. Together.”  
  
Danny slowly smiled. “Yeah?”  
  
“What, did you think you’d fucked up _everything_ just because you accidentally sent me into subdrop one time because _I_ didn’t fucking speak up and tell you to cool your jets?”  
  
“No! Maybe! I don’t know!”  
  
Brian couldn’t help but smile. He set his plate aside too and pulled Danny into his lap, turning them so he could straddle him against the headboard. “Listen to me.” He held his face between his hands and brushed their noses together. “I. Love. You. I mean it. That wasn’t just me talking through my subspace or whatever. I love every part of you that I’ve ever seen, whether it made me happy or sad – it’s _you._ ” He shrugged. “So we both made a mistake. Whatever. We’ve made a million mistakes together during interviews, concerts, in the booth...how is this any different? How is this something that we could fuck up that fast when we’ve never fucked up that bad in the past?”  
  
“I just don’t wanna mess it up, okay?” Danny breathed, barely over a whisper. “Not with you _or_ with Arin. You’re two of the best people I’ve ever met. You’ve helped make me who I am today. And if I fuck it all up and you guys decide to leave...”  
  
“Listen, I don’t speak for Arin, but I can pretty confidently say that the likelihood that you’d fuck up an entire relationship with one mistake is slim to none. And that any other mistakes you make, we’ll talk about it. We’ll fix it. Okay?”  
  
Danny pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. “Promise?”  
  
Brian kissed him, slowly and achingly – an action was worth a million words to him. This was no exception. “I promise,” he whispered, breathing the words inside of him, and Danny wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in, until the night melted away in their arms.


End file.
